Update: '[My] friend wants use me as her backup ATM': Traveller tells friend she's only bringing $300 on Caribbean vacation, friend takes internet's advice to avoid paying extra

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Aug 22, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

While planning a vacation for two, this woman had no idea her friend would suddenly expect her to foot the bill. That's not how travelling with friends works — everyone has to pay their own share, unless you plan on a different way to split the costs that everyone can agree on. Even many couples will divide the cost of travel among the two of them to ensure both people pitch in. After all, travel isn't cheap, once the costs of hotels, flights, car rentals, food, and more, are all added together. 

This person told the story of their friend, who wanted to go on vacation while sticking to a very strict budget. As u/DontAskMeChit writes, their friend told them up front that they were going to bring just $300 in cash on a five day Caribbean vacation. It's great to set a budget to stick to each day of the trip, but this friend had no backup plan whatsoever. Instead, she announced to her travel buddy that when her funds dried up, she'd turn to her for financial support. 

The OP was irritated "to no end" with that, and they turned to Reddit for help. It seems like they read some advice that commenters left, and added an update a month later. Thanks to the Redditors' quick thinking, the OP was able to protect their money, and still have a pretty good vacation with their friend (who did get a bit sulky). 

Check out the post and update below. Then, read these interviewee's accounts of what happened when they spotted red flags during job interviews. 

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  • 01
    Purple - ATM M TIRA **** LV
    via Mirza Babic on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - Friend wants to use me as her backup ATM S Next month I (F) am going away on vacation with a long time friend (F). We are going to the Caribbean for five nights. It is not all inclusive so we will be responsible for paying for food, drinks and any activities.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 03
    Font - She asked me how much was I bringing in cash, I said $300 cash plus debit and credit cards. She told me she is going to bring $300 cash but no debit or credit cards. She said she is on a budget and $300 is her limit. I explained that comes around to only $60 per day, this is not one of the cheaper Caribbean islands so food and drink alone won't leave her with
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 04
    Font - much left over. I reminded her that she needs to factor in cabs, incidentals or any activities we may decide to do. And you never know if an emergency will come up where she will need money. She says to me "that is why I have you" and started to laugh.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 05
    Font - That pd me off to no end. I tell her that we are both adults who are responsible for our own selves. It would be one thing if she lost her purse and needed money, I would float her money before she even had time to ask. But to
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 06
    Font - purposely use me as her back up ATM is not going to work. I told her now that I know what she is up to, I'm not going to go along with it. If she runs out of money, she will just be a ed-out and hungry. She needs to bring her cards with her for her own good.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 07
    Font - She is now telling me I am too harsh and she will bring extra money but no cards. I told her to do what she wants but if there is an emergency she is on her own. I posted an update, was told to make it as a separate post:
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 08
    Font - UPDATE: Friend wants to use me as her backup ATM M Many of you asked for an update after the trip. Link to the original:
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 09
    Font - Original TLDR, my friend was going to take only $300 cash, no debit or credit cards, on a five-day vacation and told me she would use me for any extra cash she may need. Update: Thanks to everyone for your feedback and suggestions. It truly did save the vacation. I'll hit the highlights:
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 10
    Font - 1. Some of you said that the Hotel would want a credit card on file from the person who made the reservation. My friend was the one who booked the vacation, she put the whole thing on her credit card because she wanted the card "points". I told her because the reservation was booked through a third-party app, the hotel would need the original card used to make the reservation. So she
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 11
    Font - was on the hook to bring her credit card. I have no idea if that is true or not, but it sounded good based on what you all commented, lol. She was not happy that her own greed got her, lol. But at least she brought a credit card.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 12
    Font - 2. Others mentioned that she was going to sulk. And sulk she did. When we got to the airport I told her I was not going to spend the vacation in her misery so let's hash it out right now. She said that my tone was very rude, as if I was accusing her of trying to mooch off of me (she was). I told her to put herself in my shoes. She was deliberately not being responsible and told me to my face I was her backup plan and laughed about it. It made me feel used and put upon. She apologized and
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 13
    Font - 3. Some of you said she would try to be content with cutting corners. Cabs were prohibitively expensive on the island and they didn't take credit cards. So, she looked up how to take the local buses. I was fine with that until we waited 45 mins in the heat for a bus to take us to the mall (Island time...). Yup, we only took cabs after that.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 14
    Font - 4. A few mentioned that she would go thru her cash in the first two days. You were close... 2.5 days. There were several markets with local jewelry and crafts that she absolutely loved and they only took...cash. So she ran through her money rather quickly. She only brought her credit card, not her debit card. So, as someone suggested, I made her Zelle me right then and there the money I took out of the ATM for her. She paid for the exchange and ATM fees.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 15
    Font - 5. She "tried it" with the meals, she ordered something big and wanted to "split" the bill evenly. Normally I would not nit-pick about that but I just didn't want her to feel like she still got one over on me in any way. Since she used her credit card for meals (to save the cash she had), I paid what I owed in cash and she paid the rest (her higher portion) with her credit card.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 16
    Font - 6. Overall, we had a good time. We did a few excursions, had shopping and beach time, and relaxed. She even told me it was a good thing she brought her credit card. Things only got weird when I asked her to Zelle me right then and there at the ATM before I gave her the cash, but she knew why I was being so hard-nosed about it.
    via u/DontAskMeChit
  • 17
    Font - Ilovethe 90sforreal I love this. Thanks for the update... and standing your ground.
    via u/Ilovethe90sforreal
  • 18
    Font - MomToShady Thanks for the update. Sounds like your figured out how to have a good time and keep both of you straight.
    via u/MomToShady
  • 19
    Font - guidance_internal_80. She's better than me. No way in h I could enjoy myself with someone after having showed their colors in such a way.
    via u/guidance_internal_80
  • 20
    Happy - bkat004 I learned a lot from this - I shall put my foot down next time I holiday with friends or family!
    via u/bkat004
  • 21
    Font - CraftingQuest I learned the hard way not to split stuff or be "paid back" on a group vacation. I now know I'm not "loaning" out money to people - I'm giving it to them and will be pleasantly surprised if I get it back. The last time I tried to collect I was told to f off and d. We are obviously no longer friends.
    via u/CraftingQuest
  • 22
    Font - MW240z 1 mo. ago Awesome update. That said, I wouldn't travel with her again... 79 Reply Share DontAskMeChit OP. 1 mo. ago I wouldn't travel with her again... Absolutely not, lol
    via u/MW240z

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friendship ATM cash credit card debit card friends travelling friend finances Travel dining money vacation
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